When the Bully Is the Principal - What No One Talks About in Education

 

We teach our students to recognize bullying. We display posters in our classrooms, guide our students through conflict resolution, and talk about kindness, empathy, and respect.

But what happens when the bullying does not come from a student, but from a principal?

I have worked in education long enough to know that not all schools feel safe, not because of the children, but because of the adults in charge. And I can tell you, when leadership becomes toxic, it can break even the most passionate educator.

The Hidden Side of School Culture

Toxic leadership does not always look like yelling or obvious intimidation. Sometimes, it is subtle, persistent, and deeply damaging.

It may appear as:

• Micromanagement that leaves no room for trust or creativity

• Public shaming in front of colleagues or students

• Being ignored, isolated, or left out of key decisions

• Undermining your work or blocking professional growth

• Getting the silent treatment, or being left out of decisions that directly affect you

• Favouritism that creates tension among staff turning them against each other

These behaviors are not just poor leadership, they are forms of bullying. And they can leave educators feeling exhausted, discouraged, and questioning their career choices.

Why This Issue Stays Silent

In education, there is this unspoken rule: don’t rock the boat.

Many teachers fear retaliation. They fear getting labeled “difficult.” Some stay silent because jobs in education can be hard to come by, and security often outweighs comfort. Sometimes getting a transfer to another school might be difficult. Others are simply intimidated by their principals so they stay silent.

They absorb the stress. They isolate themselves from everyone and prefer to 'survive' in their 'cocoon' or their zen classrooms. Some begin to wonder, “Why is it just me?”

Let me reassure you: it is not just you.

The True Cost of Toxic Leadership

When principals behave like bullies, both staff and students operate with low morale and autonomy. Essentially, school is miserable for everyone.  The tense school environment makes learning harder. Over time, this kind of leadership hurts the whole school, making it harder for students to succeed and for teachers to do their best. The real cost? A school culture filled with frustration, fear, and lost potential, something that takes years to fix.

What You Can Do

If you are navigating a toxic leadership situation right now, here are a few steps that helps me and may help you as well:

• Document everything. Keep detailed, dated notes of meetings, interactions, and requests.

• Connect with allies. Connect with trusted colleagues who might be going through the same thing.

• Set boundaries. You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to protect your peace.

• Talk to your union. Talk to your union representative.

• Remember your worth. Whether you stay or choose to leave, please remember: one principal’s treatment does not define your value as an educator.

Let’s Break the Silence

If you have ever experienced this, please know that your experience is valid. And if you have not, consider how you can be an ally to others who may be struggling.

School culture begins at the top. When leadership is respectful, empathetic, and empowering, everyone wins.

Let us keep working toward that kind of leadership in every school.

Have you ever dealt with a toxic administrator? What helped you get through it? I'd love to hear your story.